There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
