the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
