I am puke
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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