i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
