My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
