he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
