Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My dick has a subreddit
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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