he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
