i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
