he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
What a dumb baby whore.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
