He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
