ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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