what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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