The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
