i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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