can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
