I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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