she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
