I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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