One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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