I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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