In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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