Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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