I want to have your abortion
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
