Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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