Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
