Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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