I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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