he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You are a genius and a whore.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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