I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
