Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
