I didn't shave. On purpose
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
