I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
