I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
