she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
