we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
