I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
