Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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