butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
