Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
