Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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