dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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