Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
