I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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