Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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