Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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