You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I love you.
Bad choice
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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