shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
