I heard we made out
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
