well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
