Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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