i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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