the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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